A Huge List of Dirty Insults

Yo momma's like lettuce, 25 cents per head
Yo momma's so skinny her nipples touch
Yo momma's so old her tits squirt out powderd milk
Yo momma's like a library - open to the public
Yo momma's so dumb she got fired from a blowjob
Yo momma's like potato chips - Fri-to Lay
How does yo momma part her hair? By doing splits.
Yo momma's idea of safe sex is locking the car door.
What does yo momma say after sex? "Thank's Guys"
Go scratch your ass with a porcupine.
Yo momma's like potato chips - Fri-to Lay
Yo momma's like lettuce, 25 cents per head


GetAmused.com - huge joke site
DirtyPickups.com - dirty pickup lines
SexManiac.com - sex search engine
DirtySounding.com - real names of people
BathroomLife.com - bathroom humor
CondomSlogans.com - funny condom slogans
RatingPeople.com - rate photos of people
OrgasmHumor.com - new type of orgasms
SexLimericks.com - dirty limericks
PenisTypes.com - penis humor
DirtySlang.com - sex slang dictionary
LadderTheory.com - relationship humor
SexualJokes.com - dirty jokes
MusicParodies.com - funny songs
GrossNames.com - movie name humor
DigitalParodies.com - funny music videos
CrapMachine.com - create virtual poop


Visit Dumb.com for funny videos,
photos, jokes, video games & more!


I heard yo momma got fired from her job at the sperm bank - the boss caught her drinking on the job
How can you tell when yo momma's reaches orgasm? The next person in line taps you on the shoulder.
How can you tell if a yo momma has been in your refrigerator? By the lipstick on your cucumbers.
How can you tell when yo momma is dating? By the buckle print on her forehead.
How do you get yo momma pregnant? Cum in her shoes and let the flies do the rest
How does yo momma turn the light on after sex? She opens the car door
Did you hear what happened to yo momma back in high school when she was a cheerleader and did the splits? 20 class rings fell out.
Did you hear yo momma had an appendix operation? Well, now she is making money on the side.
I just want to know what crawled up you butt and died
I've known roadkill with more charisma, you little piece of rectal discharge
'Scuse me, I can't seem to find my dick. Mind if I look in Yo Mama's mouth?.
What did yo momma say when I asked her if she'd ever been picked up by "the fuzz"? "No. But I've been swung around by the tits."
What did yo momma say when she gave birth to you? "Are you sure it's mine?"
What did yo momma say when she woke up under a cow? What are you guys still doing here?
What did yo momma's left leg say to her right leg? Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.
What did yo momma's right leg say to the left leg? Nothing - they've never met.
What do they call yo momma on a waterbed? A cherry float
What do you call yo momma with a runny nose? Full.
What does the Bermuda triangle and yo momma have in common? They've both swallowed a lot of seamen.
What does yo momma and a computer have in common? You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you.
What does yo momma and a tampon have in common? They are both stuck up cunts.
What does yo momma do after she combs her hair? She pulls up her pants.
What does yo momma put behind her ears to make herself more attractive? Her ankles.
What does yo momma say after multiple orgasms? Way to go team!
What does yo momma say when I blow in her ear? "Thanks for the refill"
What is the difference between yo momma and The Titanic? They know how many men went down on The Titanic.
What's the first thing yo momma does after sex? Opens the car door
What's the first thing yo momma learned when she took driving lessons? You can also sit upright in a car.
What's the difference between yo momma and a broom closet? Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once.
What's the difference between yo momma and a trampoline? You take off your shoes before using a trampoline.
What's the difference between yo momma and an ironing board? It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.
What's yo momma's favorite nursery rhyme? Humpme dumpme.
When I asked yo momma if she was sexually, she said "No, I just lie there."
Why are there lipstick stains on the steering wheel of your momma's car? Because she loves to blow the horn.
Why can't yo momma count to 70? Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful
Why can't yo momma water-ski?  When she gets her crotch wet she thinks she has to lay down.
Why did yo momma snort Nutrasweet? She thought it was Diet Coke.
Why did your mother stop using birth control pills? Because they kept falling out.
Why does yo momma get confused in the ladies room? She has to pull her own pants down.
Why does yo momma wear condoms on her ears? Do she won't get hearing aides.
Why does yo momma wear panties? To keep her ankles warm.
Why does yo momma's car have a sunroof? So she has more legroom
Why don't yo momma talk when having sex? Her mother told her not to talk with her mouths full.
Why is yo momma nicknamed Twinkie? Because she likes to be filled with cream.
Why was yo momma disappointed with her trip to England? She found out Big Ben is only a clock.
Why was yo momma not able to become a gymnast? Because when she did the splits, she stuck to the floor.
Why will yo momma have a y-shaped coffin? Because as soon as she is on her back, her  legs open.
Wow that was a low blow! Speaking of low blows how's your mother?
Do you know why yo momma wears underwear? To keep her ankles warm.
Go scratch your ass with a porcupine.
Hey, if I wanted a comeback, I'd just wipe it off yo momma's chin...
Yo daddy has to stick his dick in the freezer to get hard
Yo daddy suffers from dick-do disease...his stomach hangs out farther than his dick do
Yo daddy's dick is so small, he makes yo' momma look hung
Yo daddy's dick is so small, he'd been fucking yo' momma for an hour and she asked if it was in yet
Yo daddy's like cement, takes him two days to get hard!
Yo daddy's so ugly, his own hand turns him down
Yo momma is like a frying pan, you have to get her hot before you put in the meat.
Yo momma is like a golf course - everybody gets a hole in one!
Yo momma is so cheap I threw her a penny for sex and she gave me change...
Yo momma is so nasty yo daddy just got out of hospital after eating her out - he caught food poisoning.
Yo momma is such a slut she has a sperm count.
Yo momma like a mailbox, open all day and all night
Yo momma parachutes naked into cornfields
Yo momma reminds me of a toilet: short, white, and smells like shit
Yo momma sits naked on fire hydrants
Yo momma so cheap I threw her a penny for sex and she gave me change
Yo momma so slutty she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball
Yo momma so slutty she could suck-start a Harley
Yo momma so slutty she was on the cover of  Wheaties, with her legs open, and it said "breakfast of the champs"
Yo momma so slutty that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change.
Yo momma so slutty that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought she was getting it three times.
Yo momma so slutty when I told her to go get some Head and Shoulders...she jump on top of me Shoulders and gave me head!!!
Yo momma took 10 tries to get her drivers license she couldn't get used to the front seat
Yo momma's dumb she thinks a sanitary belt is drinking a shot out of a clean glass
Yo momma's feet so skanky that when your family wants jam pieces, she gets yo brother to run a loaf of bread between her toes.
Yo momma's got sideburns on her tits
Yo momma's gots one big titty and one little titty and every one calls her Biggie Smalls
Yo momma's has wooden boobs and breast feeds beavers
Yo momma's I could have been Yo daddy but the gorilla in front of me in line didn't use a condom
Yo momma's is like a carpenters dream, flat as a board and easy to nail
Yo momma's is like lettuce, 25 cents per head
Yo momma's like a basketball people bounce her a lot
Yo momma's like a birthday cake everybody gets a piece
Yo momma's like a bowling ball You can fit three fingers in
Yo momma's like a bowling ball, she's picked up, fingered, and then thrown in the gutter
Yo momma's like a bubblegum machine, five cents a blow
Yo momma's like a bus, fifty cents and she's ready to ride
Yo momma's like a bus: guys climb on and off her all day long
Yo momma's like a Christmas tree; everybody hangs balls on her
Yo momma's like a door knob, everybody gets a turn
Yo momma's like a fast food restaurant, quick and easy
Yo momma's like a gas station, you gotta pay before You pump
Yo momma's like a goalie; she changes her pads after three periods
Yo momma's like a golf course, everyone GETS a hole in one
Yo momma's like a hardware store: 5 cents a screw
Yo momma's like a ketchup bottle, everyone gets a squeeze out of her
Yo momma's like a light switch, even a little kid can turn her on
yo momma's like a nail, she always getting' hammered
Yo momma's like a pirate, there she blows
Yo momma's like a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her away
Yo momma's like a race car driver, she burns a lot of rubbers
Yo momma's like a railroad track; she gets laid all over the country
Yo momma's like a refrigerator: everyone likes to put their meat in her
Yo momma's like a rifle, 4 cocks and she's loaded
Yo momma's like a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen up
Yo momma's like a shotgun, one cock and she blows
Yo momma's like a Toyota, OOooh what a feeling
Yo momma's like a turtle once, she's on her back she's fucked
Yo momma's like a TV even a 2 year old could turn her on
Yo momma's like a vacuum cleaner, she sucks and she blows and then gets laid in the closet
Yo momma's like a vacuum cleaner...a real good suck
Yo momma's like an ice cream cone, everyone gets a lick
Yo momma's like Chinese food: sweet sour and cheap
Yo momma's like Crazy Eddie; she's practically giving it all away
Yo momma's like Denny's...open 24 hours
Yo momma's like homework, you do it in your room
Yo momma's like Humpty Dumpty, first she gets humped then she gets dumped
Yo momma's like lettuce, 25 cents per head
Yo momma's like Marky Mark - Good Vibrations
Yo momma's like mayonnaise, she spreads easy
Yo momma's like Mcdonalds, billions and billions served
Yo momma's like Nascar - two rubbers and shes ready to ride
Yo momma's like peanut butter, she spreads for bread
Yo momma's like potato chips - Fri-to Lay
Yo momma's like the dollar store, cheap and always open
Yo momma's like the new AOL 9.0: Fast, fun, oh so easy and you get 100 hours FREE
Yo momma's like the Pillsbury Doughboy, everyone gets a poke
Yo momma's like the railway system, she gets laid all over the country
Yo momma's like the Suez Canal - vessels full of Seamen passing through everyday
Yo momma's maxi pad so thick she could bend over and deflect bullets
Yo momma's said she liked seafood, so I gave her crabs
Yo momma's slutty, she's like a Snickers bar packed full with with nuts
Yo momma's smells like hot ass on a cold day
Yo momma's so big when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings
Yo momma's so damn old she used to Gang Bang with the Flintstones and had an affair with Captain Caveman
Yo momma's so damn stupid on a job application it said "sex" and she wrote Monday Wednesday and sometimes Friday
Yo momma's so dirty she smells like hot ass on a cold day
Yo momma's so dumb her idea of safe sex is locking the car doors
Yo momma's so dumb I just asked her about her XMen and she said: Well my first baby's daddy was Jimmy and I still see Johnny on Fridays
Yo momma's so dumb I told her 2 go fuck herself and she said with what
Yo momma's so dumb she gave your uncle a blowjob cause he said it'd help his unemployment
Yo momma's so dumb she got fired from a blowjob
Yo momma's so dumb she really thought the cinema was selling Free Willies
Yo momma's so dumb she saw a wet floor sign and peed on the floor
Yo momma's so dumb she thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer
Yo momma's so dumb she thinks sexual battery is something in a dildo
Yo momma's so dumb she thought gay bashing ment beating up happy people
Yo momma's so dumb she thought Grape Nuts was an STD
Yo momma's so dumb she used a vibrator for an egg beater
Yo momma's so dumb she wiped her ass before she took a shit
Yo momma's so dumb the first time she used a vibrator she cracked her two front teeth
Yo momma's so dumb when your dad fucked her she said Doesnt it go in my mouth?
Yo momma's so easy that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought she was getting it three times
Yo momma's so fat I tried to fuck her doggy style but I was just riding piggy back
Yo momma's so fat last time she went to Sea World Shamu got a hard on
Yo momma's so fat she can't just work one corner she has to work all four
Yo momma's so fat she masturbates reading cookbooks
Yo momma's so fat she uses a mattress for a maxipad
Yo momma's so fat when I have sex with her I have to slap her ass and ride the wave in
Yo momma's so fat when I said I wanted Pigs in a blanket she got back in bed
Yo momma's so fat when I tried to fuck her I didn't know if I was hitting the hole or a roll
Yo momma's so fat when she has sex she has to give directions
Yo momma's so fat you have to roll her ass in flour and look for the wet spot to fuck her
Yo momma's so hairy my Viagra needed Viagra
Yo momma's so hairy when she went to get her haircut she pulled down her skirt and the barber accidentally cut off her pussy
Yo momma's so nasty her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord
Yo momma's so nasty I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection
Yo momma's so nasty she brings crabs to the beach
Yo momma's so nasty she has a sign by her pussy that says: Warning: May cause irritation drowsiness and a rash or breakouts
Yo momma's so nasty she has more crabs then Red Lobster
Yo momma's so nasty she went to a hair salon and told the stylist to cut her hair then she opened up her blouse
Yo momma's so nasty she's gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh
Yo momma's so nasty she's got more clap than an auditorium
Yo momma's so nasty that her shit is glad to escape
Yo momma's so nasty when I went to your house said what's for dinner jumped up on the table spread her legs and said crabs
Yo momma's so nasty when you said what's for dinner? she put her foot up on the table and said corns and spread her legs open and said tuna surprise
Yo momma's so old her boobs look like bungee cords
Yo momma's so old she got slapped by Eve for blowing Adam
Yo momma's so old she made Fred Flintstones bed rock
Yo momma's so old she used to gang bang with the Flintstones
Yo momma's so old the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment
Yo momma's so old when I slapped her on the back her tits fell off
Yo momma's so old when I squeezed her tits, cream cheese came out
Yo momma's so poor after I pissed in your yard she thanked me for watering the lawn
Yo momma's so skinny her bra fits better backwards
Yo momma's so skinny her nipples touch
Yo momma's so skinny she inspires crack whores to diet
Yo momma's so skinny she swallowed a meatball and thought she was pregnant
Yo momma's so skinny she uses a BandAid as a maxipad
Yo momma's so skinny when she get a afro I use her as a Qtip
Yo momma's so slutty I just saw Yo momma's walking down the hall with a mattress straped to her back asking for volunteers
Yo momma's so slutty I'd call her a hoe but hoes get paid
Yo momma's so slutty she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball
Yo momma's so slutty she could suckstart a Harley
Yo momma's so slutty that I could've been your daddy but the guy in line behind me had the correct change
Yo momma's so slutty when she got a new mini skirt everyone commented on her nice belt
Yo momma's so smelly that her shit is glad to escape
Yo momma's so smelly that when she spread her legs I got seasick
Yo momma's so stinky she can knock a buzzard off a shit wagon
Yo momma's so ugly even a blind man wouldn't have sex with her
Yo momma's so ugly even Bill Clinton wouldnt sleep with her
Yo momma's so ugly her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory
Yo momma's so ugly I can fuck her in any position and its still doggy style
Yo momma's so ugly I could have been yo daddy but the dog beat me under the fence
Yo momma's so ugly I have to watch your sister undress just to calm down
Yo momma's so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound
Yo momma's so ugly I heard your father first met her at the Zoo
Yo momma's so ugly she can't even bare the thought of masturbating
Yo momma's so ugly she could scare the flies off a shit wagon
Yo momma's so ugly she couldn't get laid in a prison with a handful of pardons
Yo momma's so ugly she got a sex change and the surgeon had to flip a coin
Yo momma's so ugly she looks like she got hit with a bag of What the fuck?
Yo momma's so ugly she pretends she's someone else when she's having sex
Yo momma's so ugly she scared the shit out of the toilet
Yo momma's so ugly that she went to the zoo the gorilla said fuck me, fuck me
Yo momma's so ugly when yo father is having sex with her he puts two bags on her head in case one of them breaks
Yo momma's so ugly Yo fathers breath smells like shit cause he'd rather kiss her ass
Yo momma's The difference between your momma and 747: not everyones been on a 747
Yo momma's tits are so droopy she tripped on them
Yo momma's was born they had to take her out of the trash can cause doctor said Throw this shit away
Yo momma's wears kneepads and yells Curb Service
Yo momma's You were born out of your mothers ass because her cunt was too busy
Yo momma's a chicken coop - cocks flyin' in and out all day.
Yo momma's drawers are so nasty, the roaches check in, but they don't check out
Yo momma's has the whitest teeth I've ever come across
Yo momma's is like a racing car...chick burned four rubbers in one night.
Yo momma's like a 747 - a 3 man cock pit!
Yo momma's like a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece.
Yo momma's like a Bowling Ball - she gets picked up, fingered, thrown into the gutter, yet she still comes back for more.
Yo momma's like a bowling ball, You can fit three fingers in.
Yo momma's like a bubble-gum machine... five cents a blow.
Yo momma's like a bus - only 50 pence a ride
Yo momma's like a bus: Guys climb on and off her all day long.
Yo momma's like a Christmas tree; everybody hangs balls on her.
Yo momma's like a door knob, everybody gets a turn.
Yo momma's like a fine restaurant - she only take deliveries in rear.
Yo momma's like a gas station - You gotta pay before you pump
Yo momma's like a goalie; she changes her pads after three periods.
Yo momma's like a golf course, everyone gets a hole in one!
Yo momma's like a hardware store - only 5 cents a screw.
Yo momma's like a Hoover - she sucks, blows, and finally gets laid back in the closet.
Yo momma's like a library - open to the public.
Yo momma's like a light switch, even a little kid can turn her on.
Yo momma's like a postage stamp, You lick her, stick her, then send her away.
Yo momma's like a race car driver...she burns a lot of rubbers.
Yo momma's like a railroad track; she gets laid all over the country.
Yo momma's like a refrigerator: everyone likes to put their meat in her!
Yo momma's like a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded.
Yo momma's like a Scooter - everybody ridin her but nobody admitting it
Yo momma's like a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen up!
Yo momma's like a shot gun, two cocks and she blows!
Yo momma's like a squirrel - she always got some nuts in her mouth.
Yo momma's like a tomato source bottle, everyone gets a squeeze out of her!
Yo momma's like a Toyota:  "Oh what a feelin'!"
Yo momma's like a TV, even a 2 year old could turn her on
Yo momma's like a vaccuum cleaner.....a real good suck.
Yo momma's like an arcade machine - dirty, smelly, costs 20 pence and lasts 30 seconds
Yo momma's like an ATM machine - open 24 hours.
Yo momma's like an elevator - blokes go up and down on her all day.
Yo momma's like an ice cream cone... everyone gets a lick.
Yo momma's like chinese food: sweet, sour and cheap!
Yo momma's like Crazy Eddie; she's practically giving it all away.
Yo momma's like Denny's...open 24 hours.
Yo momma's like homework, you do it in your room
Yo momma's like Marky Mark - Good Vibrations
Yo momma's like McDonalds... Billions and Billions served.
Yo momma's like mustard, she spreads easy.
Yo momma's like Orange Crush: "Good Vibrations!"
Yo momma's like peanut butter -- oh so smooth, creamy, and easy to spread.
Yo momma's like Pizza Hut - not there in 30 minutes...it's free.
Yo momma's like potato chips-- Fri-to Lay
Yo momma's like the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen.
Yo momma's like the Pillsbury dough boy - everybody loves to poke her
Yo momma's like the railway system, she gets laid all over the country
Yo momma's so dumb she put a phone up her ass and thought she was making a booty call
Yo momma's so fat when I climbed up on top of her I burned my ass on the light bulb
Yo momma's so fat your daddy had to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot
Yo momma's so hairy she has afros on her nipples
Yo momma's so hairy she looks like she's giving birth to Don King
Yo momma's so hairy when you were born you almost died of rug burn
Yo momma's so hairy, if I shaved her legs, I could supply wigs for the
Yo momma's so hairy, it looks like she has Don King in a head-lock!
Yo momma's so hairy, she beats her chest after sex!
Yo momma's so hairy, she shaves with a weed whacker!
Yo momma's so hairy, she uses a lawn mower to shave her armpits!
Yo momma's so hairy, she's got afros on her breasts!
Yo momma's so hairy, you almost died of rug burn at birth!
Yo momma's so nasty her tits give sour milk
Yo momma's so nasty she bought her boyfriend kneepads for Christmas
Yo momma's so nasty she pours salt water in her drawers to keep the crabs alive
Yo momma's so nasty when she did the splits she stuck to the floor
Yo momma's so nasty, a skunk smelled her ass and passed out.
Yo momma's so nasty, even the fishery paid her to leave!
Yo momma's so nasty, flies land on her picture!
Yo momma's so nasty, her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord.
Yo momma's so nasty, her tits give sour milk.
Yo momma's so nasty, I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.
Yo momma's so nasty, I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a virus.
Yo momma's so nasty, lice visit her on their vacations!
Yo momma's so nasty, she brings crabs to the beach!
Yo momma's so nasty, she calls Janet "Miss Jackson."
Yo momma's so nasty, she got more clap than an auditorium.
Yo momma's so nasty, she has a sign by her pussy that says: "Warning: May cause irritation, drowsiness, and a rash or breakouts."
Yo momma's so nasty, she has a sign over her pussy that says "Crabs: All U Can Eat"
Yo momma's so nasty, she has more crabs then Red Lobster.
Yo momma's so nasty, she has to use Black Flag for a deodorant!
Yo momma's so nasty, she uses Drain-o to douche!
Yo momma's so nasty, she's got more clap than an auditorium.
Yo momma's so nasty, the Nat'l Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!
Yo momma's so nasty, they call her Norelco... Home of the triple head.
Yo momma's so nasty, when I went to yo house said what's for dinner, yo mama put her foot up on the table and said "Corn!"
Yo momma's so nasty, when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama jumped up on the table, spread her legs, and said "crabs!"
Yo momma's so nasty, when she did the splits, she stuck to the floor.
Yo momma's so nasty, while you were being delivered, the doctor was
Yo momma's so nearsighted she propositions statues
Yo momma's so old her tits squirt out powderd milk
Yo momma's so slutty she has the golden arches tattooed on her ass...billions and billions served.
Yo momma's so slutty she's like potato chips, she is fri-to-lay!
Yo momma's so slutty that in sex-ed class in High School she was the homework.
Yo momma's so stanky when she takes a dump the shit is glad to escape.
You liked that mama joke didn't ya? Good?...well, nowhere near as good as yo momma was last night
You need to tell yo momma to stop wearing blue lipstick, I got balls like a Smurf now.
You were born out of your mother's ass 'cos her cunt was too busy.




If you like this site, then you may also like...
GrossNames.com | DirtySounding.com
| FunnyTitles.com



FilthyInsults.com is part of the Stupidness.com network.
©
All Rights Reserved.      Contact Us here.